he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize