I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
