Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
