No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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