ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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