lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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