I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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