Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
