I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize