I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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