youre lurking in front of me
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
