she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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