sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize