So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
