she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
