It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
