I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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