doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
