maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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