mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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