i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize