You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
