wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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