Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
