Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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