Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
