was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
