If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
