did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
