I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
