Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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