I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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