I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
