Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
