He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
