i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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