you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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