Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
