would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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