You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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