so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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