how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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