ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Porn is love you can see.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I want to fling myself into the sun
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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