I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
