We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My life is pants optional.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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