After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
