stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
