Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
