If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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