yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
