and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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