That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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