I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize