Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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