so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
