the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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