So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
