You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
