I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
