sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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