Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
