Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Randomize