let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
