Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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