i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
