You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
