Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
